


We Could Be Beautiful

by theultimatefangirl2002



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Basically the whole musical from Veronica's POV, Beautiful, Blue - Freeform, Bombs, Broadway, Bullying, Candy Store, Dead Girl Walking, Dead Girl Walking (reprise), Death, F/M, Fight For Me, Guns, I Am Damaged, I mean if you know the musical you know what's in here, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Lifeboat, MY DEAD GAY SON, Me coping with not being able to do Heathers as my school musical, Meant To Be Yours, Musicals, Poison, Seventeen (reprise), Seventeen - Freeform, Shine a Light, Suicide, The Me Inside of Me, Threats, Underage Drinking, Veronica Sawyer's Inner Monologue, Yo Girl, big fun, freeze your brain, lots of threats, our love is god, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-03-08 14:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13460643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theultimatefangirl2002/pseuds/theultimatefangirl2002
Summary: Veronica glanced up from her notebook, taking a deep breath before stepping into the hellhole known as Westerberg High School. Immediately, her ears were filled with cat-calls, insults, the sound of people slamming their lockers (or being slammed into their lockers), and the senseless chatter of her classmates.It was her last first day. Thank God for that.





	1. The Boon

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Heathers (not the dialogue, the characters, nada). I only own my writing.
> 
> TW for eating disorder

**** _ September 1st, 1989 _

 

_ Dear Diary, _

 

_ I believe that I’m a good person. You know, I think that there’s good in everyone. But here we are- first day of Senior Year! I look around at all of these kids I’ve known all my life and ask myself: What happened?! _

 

Veronica glanced up from her notebook, taking a deep breath before stepping into the hellhole known as Westerberg High School. Immediately, her ears were filled with cat-calls, insults, the sound of people slamming their lockers (or being slammed  _ into _ their lockers), and the senseless chatter of her classmates. 

 

It was her last first day. Thank God for that. 

 

Her eyes scanned the long, full halls of her high school and she took another deep breath, already exhausted 3 seconds into the day. Sometimes, she wondered why high school had been invented- it was just a place to torment everyone who wasn’t rich or cool. Everyone was miserable-  _ everyone _ that she saw. It was ridiculous- if high school was so bad and literally everyone hated it (even the teachers), then why was it still around?

 

Ah- she was supposed to try to be positive today. That was the goal Veronica had given herself- be positive, it’s the first day of a fresh new years. Make it the best year ever! It was bullshit- she knew it was, but trying to think positive (even though it’s bullshit) was better than going in  _ knowing _ that it was going to be shit.

 

Veronica took a deep breath, starting down the hall towards her locker. She had had the same locker since Freshman year, but every year it seemed to get farther and farther away from the door. Her eyes scanned all of the people around her, watching them interact. Honestly, they were like children- as if they hadn’t grown up, but simply gotten meaner and added new, more descriptive words to their vocabulary. 

 

She opened her notebook again once she reached her locker. Another goal she had given herself- write entries in the diary so she could one day relive Senior Year in all of it’s glory. This goal came more so from Veronica’s mother, because Veronica had no clue why the hell she’d ever want to remember her time here in Westerberg. 

 

_ We were so tiny, happy and shiny. We’d all play tag and get chased. We’d sing and clap, laugh and nap… even bake cookies and accidentally eat paste. But then we got bigger, which triggered our downfall like the huns invading Rome. _

 

Veronica felt something hit her shoulder and, off-balance, she almost fell to the ground. Her head turned and she saw one of her classmates- Amanda, a wannabe Heather, glance back at her with a look of annoyance on her face. Her eyes met Veronica’s and, despite that fact that  _ she _ had been run into, Veronica called out, “Sorry.” Amanda just rolled her eyes and kept going. 

 

She took a deep breath, turning back to her diary. Great first interaction of the school year. 

 

_ Welcome to my school, this ain’t no high school. This is the thunderdome. I just need to hold my breath and count the days- almost time for graduation! College will be paradise if I’m not dead by June _ .  _ But I mean, I know that life can be beautiful and I keep praying for a better way. We were kind before, so why can’t we be kind again? It’d be so beautiful I think that I’d cry _ .

 

Sighing, Veronica shut her locker and turned just in time to see a boy get slammed into the lockers beside her. She jumped back as he yelped, “Ow!” Veronica heard laughing and watched the backs of two Letterman jackets swaggering away, as if pushing this kid made them cool or something. 

 

_ Guess I won’t be crying about  _ that _ today _ , Veronica thought as she stepped towards the boy- she thought his name was Michael. “Hey, are you okay?” She asked as he looked up and met her gaze. 

 

He recoiled once he realized who she was. “Get  _ away _ , nerd!” He snapped before stalking off, rubbing the side of his head that had been slammed into the lockers, leaving Veronica alone. 

 

_ I was just trying to be nice, asshole _ . She thought, biting back the angry remark. This was why she hated it here. This one year was going to feel like a million years. “Oh. Okay.” She said awkwardly to the space where Michael had just been. 

 

It was wistful thinking. They weren’t going to change. Once you made the change to  _ this _ , there wasn’t any way back. 

  
  


************************

  
  


Veronica was standing in line for lunch, watching as it moved about a feet per minute. It was long and tedious and the reward was pretty shit too- lunchroom food, yum- but it was routine now. She pulled her diary out of her bag, setting it on her lunch tray as she started to write again. 

 

_ Things will get better once I get my letter from Harvard, Duke, or Brown- really, once I get any letter, graduate, and blow this town. But for now? All I can do is dream of a life out of Bigfoot Ville and resist the urge to set this whole place on fire. _

 

And suddenly, her tray clattered to the ground, her pen falling out of her hand and joining her small little book. “Ooops…” 

 

Veronica looked up and met the gaze of- the one, the only- Ram Sweeney. He was an asshole jock- 3rd year as linebacker with 8 years of smacking lunch trays out of people’s hands under his belt too. She shook her head, looking down at her stuff littering the floor. “Dick.” She mumbled, going to pick them up when Ram’s hand suddenly closed around her wrist, pulling her upright. 

 

“What did you say to me,  _ skank _ ?” Ram hissed. His breath smelled ever-so-faintly of alcohol. Was that really a surprise though? To  _ anyone _ ? His grip tightened when she didn’t immediately answer. 

 

“Ah, ah-” Veronica shook her head and clearing her throat as she looked away from Ram’s stone cold, blank stare in attempt to reorient herself and to get this  _ jackass _ to let go of her. It was unnerving- he looked brainless without trying. “Nothing.” 

 

Ram glared at her for a moment before releasing her wrist. He stepped back, putting two fingers in front of his eyes dramatically before pointing at her- the  _ I’m watching you _ gesture that 5 years olds use to intimidate their other 5 year old friends. Veronica resisted the urge to roll her eyes and nodded slightly, not because she was intimidated but because she didn’t feel like interacting with Ram anymore than she had too. He stepped back, going towards the back of the line, where Veronica heard whoops and hollers- probably Ram celebrating his “awesome win”.  

 

Veronica took a deep, long breath.  _ The first day is always the longest day _ . She thought to herself.  _ And you’re halfway through it now _ . 

 

The thought just depressed her more. 

 

Her eyes trailed down to her stuff, scattered all over the floor. She was tempted to just leave it there and back up the line- just to be an ass- when a hand tapped her shoulder. Veronica jumped, spinning around, ready to smack Ram in the face or knee him in the balls (whichever one was more appealing in the moment) when her eyes met the light blue eyes that didn’t belong to Ram fucking Sweeney. Veronica forced down her yelp and smiled a little bit at the sight of her best friend. “Oh. Hi Martha.”

 

“Hi.” Martha grinned at her before kneeling down to help her pick up her tray and book. Veronica sighed. Martha had a big heart- one bigger than anyone else in this shithole and she deserved so much better, but a big heart didn’t get you a lot here at Westerberg. It was kill or be killed. Unfortunately for both of them, they were marked on the  _ kill _ list. “We on for movie night?” Martha asked, standing up right and handing Veronica her red tray, her notebook neatly placed on top of it. 

 

Veronica nodded, stepping forwards as the line moved. “Duh. You’re on Jiffy Pop detail.” She gave Martha a half-hearted smile, which she hoped that Martha wouldn’t take personally but she was already exhausted and the day was only half-over. 

 

Martha smiled enthusiastically. “I rented The Princess Bride!” She announced happily. 

 

It made Veronica happy to hear her friend so happy, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “Whoa, wait- again? Don’t you have it memorized by now?” It seemed as though every other movie night they had involved watching The Princess Bride. God knows how many times Martha had watched it without Veronica, but every time she asked her friend about it, Martha gave the same answer. 

 

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a happy ending.” Martha’s enthusiasm had died down a little and Veronica sighed. Her friend deserved a happy ending- she deserved it the most out of anyone that Veronica knew. 

 

“Martha Dumptruck! Wide load!  _ HOOOONK _ !” Martha’s tray clattered to the ground the way Veronica’s had moments ago and immediately, Veronica looked up, angry. This was why- this was exactly why. Almost everyone in this school gave Martha shit- shit she didn’t deserve- and still, through all of that, Martha Dunnstock was still kind and happy and  _ nice _ . 

 

Kurt Kelly stood there, smiling at Martha with that douchebag smile that he had perfected over his many,  _ many _ years of being a douchebag. He was a quarterback- smartest guy on the football team, but it wasn’t hard to do that. You just needed to have a grade higher than a D-. Granted, Kurt most likely used some poor kid to make him seem smarter than he was, so who knows how smart the jackass really was. Veronica didn’t give enough of a shit to care.

 

“Hey!” Veronica stepped in front of Martha, angry that . “Pick that up! Right now!” 

 

“I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?” Kurt asked dumbly- but what didn’t he do dumbly was the better question. 

 

A second later, Ram slapped his hand on his friend’s shoulder, leaning over to glare at Veronica as well. “My buddy Kurt here asked you a question.” Kurt glanced over at him and did the “I’m-super-masculine” head-bob at his friend, who did it back. Veronica resisted the urge to vomit. 

 

She looked up, meeting Kurt’s eyes with a stone-cold glare she had perfected years ago. It was the “I fucking dare you bitch” glare that she saved for occasions just like this. “What gives you the right to pick on my friend? Look at you,” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. Veronica hated being mean- but sometimes, in cases like this, it felt unavoidable. If being a bitch was the only way to get through to people and make them stop messing with her and Martha, then Veronica the bitch was here to stay. That made her as bad as they were, Veronica knew that. But at the same time, she didn’t entirely care. Maybe if she was a bitch, then everyone just wouldn’t want to talk to her. That would be a plus. Then maybe her IQ wouldn’t drop with every conversation she had with her idiot classmates. “You’re a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas-station attendant.”

 

Kurt glared at her for a moment. Silence fell between them and Veronica was suddenly aware that everyone was staring at them. Kurt suddenly stepped forwards and Veronica tensed, stepping back almost without thinking. A cold smile came over his face and his hand raised, finger outstretched before it paused just inches from Veronica’s chin. “You got a zit right there.”

 

Veronica knew that- she’d stared at in for 10 minutes in hopes it would disappear (like the first day of school? Come on acne)- but still, she reached up hesitantly, her finger running over the small bump. Suddenly, Kurt’s hands found her shoulders and he shoved her backwards as everyone laughed-  _ laughed _ ! The only reason that Veronica didn’t fall flat on her ass was because of Martha, who was always there and who didn’t deserve this shit- but goddammit, neither did Veronica. 

 

“Are you okay-” Martha asked softly, but Veronica hissed back an answer before walking out of the lunch line as fast as possible, moving towards a table in the back of the lunchroom. She felt bad- leaving Martha like that- but  _ fuck _ . Why were the kids at her school such  _ bitches _ ? Why did they need to push each other down instead of picking each other up? Why had they grown up into such dickheads? Why was Veronica the only one who tried to fight back? Just…  _ why _ ?!

 

The lunchroom doors opened moments later and everyone fell silent. Veronica had found a table in the back and was sitting, writing nonsense in her diary. Her anger dissipated- then she felt mad at herself for not being angry anymore, because if anything, they should make her more angry. After all, the Heathers were the biggest bitches of them all. But still, they were treated like goddesses. Veronica sighed deeply before looking back down at her diary again. 

 

_ And then there’s the Heathers. They float above it all. Heather McNamara- she’s the head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded (sells engagement rings). Heather Duke- she runs the Yearbook. She doesn’t have a discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants last summer. And Heather Chandler. The All-mighty. She is a mythic bitch. _

 

The three Heathers all sat down at a table near the front of the room. Everyone slowly looked away, but it was like all the energy and focus now was on the three brightly colored Heathers. Once again, Veronica wondered how the  _ hell _ they’d all been made so similarly and so…  _ perfectly _ . 

 

_ They’re solid Teflon. Never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that. _

 

She’d written down the confession before really thinking. Veronica sighed, reaching to cross it out before deciding to leave it. She would never be a Heather- she knew that. Veronica wasn’t pretty enough and didn’t have anything special about her that would put her above the rest. Veronica was just…  _ Veronica _ . She didn’t have a special name like Heather McNamara or Heather Chandler or Heather Duke. She was just Veronica Sawyer. 

 

Maybe older-Veronica would think it funny that she wanted to be like with the Heathers back in the day. Maybe all three Heathers will be in jail. Or dead. Maybe older-Veronica will be more successful than them. Maybe they’ll work under her- wouldn’t that be nice. 

 

Veronica almost smiled at the thought before realizing that, in reality, Heather McNamara will probably be a model, Heather Chandler will probably run some fashion business or something (maybe the one that Heathers McNamara models for), and Heather Duke will… well, do whatever. Probably follow the other two like a little bitch. Either way, the three of them together were a force that could destroy mountains. When they were released out of this hell hole, who knows what would happen. 

 

She sighed, looking up at the clock. It seemed as though time hadn’t moved at all. She still had another half of the day to get through. 

 

Fuck. 

  
  


************************

  
  


Veronica had stepped into the bathroom only moments before the Heathers had. She was lucky to have gotten into a stall before they did, or else Heather Chandler would probably have done something bitchy (she basically is the Queen Bitch). Veronica sighed, wondering how long they would be in here. It was kind of annoying, really. Everyone just rolled out of their way whenever they needed anything or went anywhere. Just this once, could they roll out of the way for her? Or did they expect her to slide under the stall and out the door silently, as if she'd never been in there?

 

They probably did. 

 

The stall next to Veronica slammed open and she saw a pair of knees touch the floor. Green socks lined her calves- Heather Duke. Veronica pulled her feet up further, so hopefully no one could see her. 

 

Then Heather Duke threw up. Veronica wrinkled her nose, looking down at the notebook clutched in her hands. How funny would it be if she started to write again now. Older-Veronica would get a kick out of the time that she had been trapped in a bathroom stall, listening to the Heathers talk and throw-up before class. 

 

“Ugh, grow up Heather, bulimia is  _ so _ 87’.” Heather Chandler said from outside. Veronica could barely see through the small crack in the door and the red-blob was standing in front of the mirror, looking like she was… fixing her lipstick? Veronica couldn’t tell. 

 

“Heather…” Heather Duke cleared her throat before speaking louder. “I need a mint.” She finished, sounding tired. Veronica figured that she would be after making herself throw up. She didn’t understand why- it was pretty disgusting. 

 

Black heels clicked along the floor before stopping next to Heather Duke. The yellow socks meant it was Heather McNamara. “What you need, Heather, is to see a doctor.” She said softly. Heather McNamara was about as nice as you could get while still being a Heather- meaning she was a bitch, but the nicest bitch out of all three of them. 

 

“I hate my doctor.” Heather Duke sounded disgusting as Heather McNarama’s feet walked back towards where Heather Chandler was standing. “He smells like Drakkar Noir.” Heather Duke didn’t sound as good after saying that. Veronica took a deep breath, praying that they’d just leave soon so she could go to class. 

 

The bathroom door swung open. Veronica shut her eyes.  _ Shit _ . “Ah, Heather and Heather…” The drawling, slightly-high voice of their teacher, Ms. Fleming, said. She sounded... almost amused. Heather Duke vomited again. Veronica shut her eyes, shaking her head slightly. She just wanted to take a piss in peace- was that too much to ask? “And Heather… Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting. You’re late for class.”

 

For a moment, Veronica couldn’t believe that Ms. Fleming was more concerned about the fact that they were missing class than that one of her students was kneeling over the toilet with her fingers down her throat. Then she remembered- oh right, Ms. Fleming is a fake-ass bitch. She pretended to care- just like all of the teachers and adults in this town, but in the end? The only thing that she cared about was her paycheck. 

 

“Heather wasn’t feeling well.” Heather Chandler sounded distressed too- but it was a fake distressed. The “oh woah is me” tone that Heather Chandler was so good at using to get exactly what she wanted. “We’re helping her.” 

 

Despite the fact that they were… well, the Heathers, Veronica felt bad. No one deserved to be ratted on by Ms. Fleming, the English teacher who sneaks out during all of her breaks to smoke (both pot and regular cigarettes) and comes back in increasingly better and better moods. It appears today she must not have had as many breaks as usual... Veronica opened her notebook before quickly scrawling out a fake letter- a hall pass from the Yearbook committee for Veronica Sawyer, Heather Chandler, Heather McNamara, and Heather Duke from the Yearbook committee advisor Mr. Miller. 

 

Ms. Fleming seemed to enjoy the fact that she had just caught the three Heathers. She giggled a little. “Not without a hall pass, you’re not. Weeks detention-”

 

Veronica opened the bathroom stall door and cleared her throat. “Um, actually, Ms. Fleming?” All eyes turned to her and Veronica couldn’t help but notice how cold Heather Chandler’s gaze was. She was like a hawk. “All four of us are out on a hall pass.” Veronica continued, sticking the forged hall pass out towards their teacher. “Yearbook committee.” She added uselessly. 

 

Veronica had gotten good at forging things- mostly stuff like this (hall passes, permission slips, absence notes, and report cards were her four favorites). It had started out as a hobby when she was younger and she’d gotten so good that her parents couldn’t tell the difference between their own writing and Veronica’s fake writing. If she was being honest, Veronica found it kind of fun. 

 

Ms. Fleming looked over the piece of paper, the small smile that had been on her face disappearing as every second went by. As if she was disappointed not the hand out detentions to everyone's three favorite students. “I see you’re all listed…” She muttered under her breath before looking up at Veronica and handed the slip back. “Hurry up and get where you’re going.” She turned and left the bathroom, which Veronica found a bit odd- why had she just walked into the women's bathroom if she wasn’t going to use it? In hopes that she would find some innocent students in here trying to do their business in peace? Bitch. 

 

The slip was grabbed from her hand as soon as Ms. Fleming left. Veronica turned and saw all three Heathers staring at the forged hall pass. Heather Chandler looked up from the paper, her golden hair bouncing around her shoulders. “This is an excellent forgery.” She stepped forwards as Heather Duke grabbed the hall pass from her hand. Heather Chandler’s arms crossed and she raised an eyebrow, her eyes surveying Veronica with a new interest that was almost scary. “Who are you?” Heather Chandler asked a moment later. Her red blazer made her seem deadly- which she was. 

 

Veronica felt so taken aback that she just blurted out whatever came to mind. “Uh, Veronica. Sawyer?” She’d stuck her hand out. The three Heathers just stared at her in a sort of strange pity, as if wondering what the hell she was doing. Veronica wondered that too. But, at the same time, she knew _exactly_ what she was doing- it had come to her quickly after handing Ms. Fleming the hall pass. “I crave a boon.” 

 

Heather Chandler raised an eyebrow, looking annoyed now. That was another thing that Heather Chandler had mastered years ago as well- the annoyed, “are you fucking serious” stare. It was effective- it almost made Veronica go “sorry nevermind” and run. But somehow, she kept her feet on the ground as Heather Chandler asked in a monotonous, irritated tone. “What. Boon.” It didn’t feel like a question. 

 

Veronica took a deep breath, wishing she could look away from Heather Chandler but that was like looking away from a poisonous snake. “Um… Let me sit at your table? At lunch, just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they’ll leave me alone.” She was rambling. It sounded pathetic. Veronica couldn’t believe she’d just said  _ that _ to the three most popular girls in her school- hell, in her town. 

 

Heather Chandler scoffed, laughing a little. The other two joined in a moment later, as if they’d be waiting to see what their leaders reaction was. Veronica knew they wouldn’t just  _ do _ it- there had to be something in it for them, so she added, “Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes.”

 

Heather Duke spoke up. “How about prescriptions?” She asked curiously, her eyes surveying Veronica in a similar way Heather Chandler’s had moments ago.

 

“Shut up, Heather.” Heather Chandler glanced behind her, glaring at the Heather in green, who mumbled, “Sorry, Heather” before looking down. Veronica almost felt sorry for her. Almost. Heather Chandler stepped forwards, her hand coming under Veronica’s chin. Veronica immediately tensed, but Heather Chandler sort of just… looked at her. She immediately felt very self-conscious of the pimple on her chin. “For a greasy, little nobody…” Heather Chandler said at last, letting go of Veronica’s chin and stepping back again. “You do have good bone-structure.”

 

_ What? _ Veronica’s eyes met Heather Chandler’s again and they looked… different. Not as poisonous. Heather McNamara stepped forwards. She was shorter than Heather Chandler, even with the heels. She stopped in front of Veronica, her warm brown eyes meeting Veronica’s now. “And a symmetrical face…” Heather McNamara said softly, bringing her hand up to a point on Veronica’s forehead before slowly pulling it down, making an invisible down Veronica’s face. “If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important.” She nodded, as if that solved everything and that last remark  _ didn’t _ raise a few questions. 

 

“Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.” Heather Duke remarked from where she stood next to Heather Chandler, her arms crossed as she looked at Veronica with the same glare as before. 

 

“But you know…” Heather Chandler stepped forwards as Heather McNamara stepped backwards. She brushed a strand of Veronica’s hair back from her face, her eyes surveying Veronica’s face once again. “With a little lip gloss and mascara… some new clothes… This could be beautiful…” Heather Chandler glanced behind her at the two other Heathers before looking back to Veronica. “You want your boon?” She raised an eyebrow. “How about we give you even more than you asked for?” A smile spread on her face, but it was almost unsettling. “A full makeover.” She determined. Heather McNamara smiled widely, clapping excitedly. “New clothes, makeup… even a new personality.” Heather Chandler’s eyes met Veronica’s, sending her heart skyrocketing. “Come to my house tonight. 7:30. We’ll make you beautiful. Okay?” 

  
Veronica realized that she was being addressed now. Her eyes moved to look at where she stood- in front of the three Heathers (one looking excited, another looking annoyed, and the third waiting for an answer) with the possibility of having them make her over. Into something new. Beautiful, even. 

 

The offer was too good to pass up. It could change her life for the better. Give her new friends and protection. She’d never have to be shit on by Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly ever,  _ ever _ again. Veronica nodded, her own smile spreading across her face. “Okay.” 

  
  


************************

  
  


“Alright, so just walk in with us.” Heather McNamara was saying. Veronica felt uncomfortable- she was wearing a blue, Heather-esc blazer and a short, pleated skirt that showed more of her skin that she had ever shown anyone before. She felt on display, but… more at home and comfortable than she had ever. Maybe it was the knowledge that she was sort of friends (was friends the right word?) with the three Heathers and that made her protected. Heather McNamara smiled before looking towards the other two, who were staring at Veronica with arms crossed. “You look great.” She finished before joining her friends and walking into the cafeteria.

 

Veronica took a deep breath. She straightened her blazer and followed them. 

 

As it always did, the cafeteria murmuring hushed immediately. All eyes turned towards the three Heathers and Veronica. She could feel the gazes upon her, wondering who the hell this new girl was. Despite herself, Veronica smiled. Heather Chandler’s voice from last night repeated in her head-  _ “Walk with your shoulders back and head up” _ \- so that’s what Veronica did. 

 

She passed a table and heard whispers, “Who is that?! She’s gorgeous…” 

 

Her heart fluttered.  _ She was beautiful _ . Her smile widened and she joined the Heathers at the lunch table. All three of them were staring at her. Heather Chandler raised her eyebrow slightly. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” She asked, almost mockingly. 

 

Veronica smiled, watching as the other three began to talk. The talking in the lunchroom resumed, but Veronica could feel people staring at her. For once, it didn’t bothered her. Because, for the first time in all of her years at school, she was beautiful. Popular. Safe. 

  
  


************************

 

_ And you know, you know, you know _

_ Life can be beautiful _

_ You hope, you dream, you pray _

_ And you get your way! _

_ Ask me how it feels _

_ Looking like hell on wheels _

_ My God it’s beautiful _

_ I might be beautiful _

_ And when you’re beautiful, _

_ It’s a beautiful fricking day! _


	2. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hand clamped on her chin, turning her head back to face the three Heathers. Veronica’s eyes met the cold, snake-like ones of Heather Chandler. “See, I thought you could keep up with us. I thought that you were willing to play and have fun with us in our little games and jokes… If you lack the balls to do something as little as this, then why are you even here?”

_ Dear Diary, _

 

_ It’s been three weeks since I became friends with the Heathers. Well, wait. Friends isn’t the right word, exactly. It’s more like the Heathers are people that I work with and our job is being popular and shit. _

 

“Hey, Veronica.” Veronica looked up. Martha stood in front of her, smiling slightly at her. 

 

Veronica smiled back. “Hey.” She hadn’t seen Martha in forever. She’d been so busy figuring out how exactly to… you know, be like the Heathers that she hadn’t had any extra time to herself, let alone to spend with Martha. Also, in the words of Heather Chandler, _“She’s not cool. Hanging out with her doesn’t do anything but make you look worse than you did before”_. Veronica was hesitant to comply, but the protection she’d had for the past few weeks had been amazing and definitely worth it... 

 

That sounded terrible

 

“You really do look beautiful these days.” Martha said, looking over Veronica again. She looked down at herself, seeing the familiar blue blazer, grey skirt, blue socks, and black heels she’d worn almost every day since the Heather’s made her over. 

 

Veronica met Martha’s eyes and shrugged, shutting her journal. “Well, it’s still the same old me underneath.” It was true- Veronica still felt like she was pretending. But all three Heathers assured her that it would feel less and less fake as time went on. Guess Veronica just had to wait a while. 

 

“Are you sure?” The words were soft and not harsh, but they felt like a hit to the chest. Martha had looked away, down at the ground, looking small and sad. 

 

Veronica sighed, feeling guilty for what she was doing, but… it was helping her, making her feel better and safer. Maybe, someday, she could offer the same protection to Martha. But either way, it was senior year. There wasn’t that much time left and Veronica knew that Martha had similar big plans to Veronica’s of going to college and getting out of this hellhole. “Look, I’m sorry I flaked on movie week last night. I’ve had a lot going on.” 

 

The excuse sounded pathetic, but Martha nodded. “I get it. You’re with the Heather’s now.” She smiled a little bit, but it looked forced. “It’s exciting.” 

 

Veronica smiled a little back, shrugging. “It’s whatever. But we’ll hang soon, I promise-”

 

“Veronica!” She turned and met the cold eyes of Heather Duke, who was standing in the lunchroom door frame with her arms crossed. She was looking at Veronica as if Veronica had offended her or something. “Heather says to haul ass to the caf, pronto.” It was kind of funny- the more time Veronica had spent around the Heathers, the easier it was to tell which Heather Heather was referring to at any given time. 

 

Veronica glanced back at Martha, offering her a sympathetic smile, before looking back to Heather Duke and sighing. “How very.” She followed Heather into the cafeteria.

 

She had gotten used to the stares and whispers, although they had faded significantly as the weeks went on. It was crazy- Veronica had being treated like a  _ Heather _ and… she was used to it? It honestly didn’t make any sense. 

 

They arrived at the table, where Heather McNamara and Heather Chandler were sitting. Heather Chandler looked up, her eyes lighting up as much as her eyes  _ could _ light up as they met Veronica’s. “Oh, Veronica. I need a forgery in Ram Sweeney’s handwriting. You’ll need something to write on… Heather, bend over.” She ordered, handing Veronica a pad of paper and a pen. Heather Duke sighed before obeying, bending over like a table. Veronica felt a flash of pity, then realized who she was feeling pity for and cursed herself for it. She set the pad of paper on Heather’s back and glanced over at Heather, who began to speak again. “ _Hi, Honey- I’ve been watching you and thinking about us in the old days. I hope you come to my homecoming party this weekend. I miss you. - Ram_.” She suddenly grinned and pointed at the forged note. “Put an XO after the signature.”

 

Veronica did as she was told, which was generally how things ran with Heather Chandler. As she finished, she looked up at Chandler. “What’s this for, anyways?” She asked, pulling it out of her notebook and observing her work. The writing looked about as good as it was going to get, but she still had no idea why Heather wanted a note like this. Probably some dumb prank. 

 

Heather Chandler grabbed the note from Veronica’s hand, folding it in half as she grinned like the devil herself. “You remember how Ram used to hang with Martha Dumptruck?”  

 

Veronica suddenly focused, looking up at Chandler, who was looking around the cafeteria. “Yeah…” She said carefully, unsure what was happening. “In kindergarten. We all did.” She added. Martha had talked about spending time with Ram since… well, since kindergarten. She had liked him since the year that they’d actually been good friends- or as good of friends as you could get in kindergarten. Veronica felt bad for her, because Ram was a dick to her and to everyone, but it had been 12 long years for Martha. Veronica figured she could use something to be excited or happy about.

 

Heather Duke stood upright, straightening her blazer as she gave Veronica a pointed look. “We didn’t all kiss on the kickball field.” 

 

_ Shit _ . Veronica had hoped they didn’t know. This was the main reason Martha’s crush had developed in the first place. It was kind of sad- the main reason Veronica’s only friend got out of bed in the morning was to come to school to see a douchebag who had kissed her once, 12 years ago, and whom she’d had a crush on ever since. 

 

Heather McNamara suddenly gasped, giggling. “Oh my God, that’s right! Ram kissed Martha Dumptruck!” She laughed again, looking around at the group as she grinned. “It was disgusting!” 

 

Heather Chandler seemed to find whatever she was looking for. “Perfect… Ram!” Veronica’s eyes found Kurt and Ram sauntering into the cafeteria as if they owned the place, looking as douchery as ever. She was starting to understand what was happening- and she  _ hated _ it. The two jocks reached the group of girls within seconds and Heather stepped forwards, putting on her sweet, flirtatious face she used to seduce anyone who dared look at her. She held the note out to Ram, pouting slightly. “Be a sweetie and give this note to Martha Dumptruck for me.”

 

Veronica found herself stepping forwards without thinking, speaking without considering what she was saying but it was hitting her- they were going to hurt Martha by making her think that she actually had a shot with Ram. This would hurt her more than they would ever know and Martha Dunnstock did not deserve to be hurt by anyone  _ ever _ . “What?! No!” Veronica didn’t know how to stop this without ruining everything that she’d so carefully built over the last three weeks, but she  _ had _ to stop this  _ now _ . 

 

Ram scoffed, taking the note from Heather before glancing over at Kurt. “Since when do you talk to that lard-ass?” 

 

He started to open the paper, but Heather quickly put a hand over his, stopping him. “Don’t read it.” Ram got a curious expression on his face, which wasn’t hard because everything was a mystery to that idiot. “She’s having an extra-heavy flow and wanted some advice from my gyno.” Heather said, causing Ram to recoil and yell “UGH! GROSS!”

 

Veronica moved in, snatched the paper away from Ram, who shot her a look like “ _the fuck_ ” before walking back over to Kurt, shaking his head. Immediately, Heather turned and was surrounded by all three Heather's, looking at her. Heather Chandler looked furiously, with Heather Duke trying to mimic her expression (but it didn’t have the same fear-inspiring attitude behind it) and Heather McNamara standing between them. Veronica found herself trying to explain, suddenly on edge. “Martha’s had a thing for Ram for like twelve years now, this will kill her.” It struck Veronica that saying that out loud to the Heather’s might not have been the best move, but it was too late. Her eyes met Heather Chandler’s furious blue ones and she struggled to get her next words out. “Come on, Heather. You’re better than this-”

 

“Are we gonna have a problem?” Heather Chandler interrupted her, cocking her head slightly. A sweet, angry smile came over her face and Veronica knew that she had done or said the wrong thing, but… she couldn’t do that to Martha- she  _ couldn’t _ … “Do you have a bone to pick?” She laughed, sharp and loud- drawing attention of those around her, Veronica realized suddenly. She was trying to make a scene. Trying to embarrass Veronica. Her heart leapt. 

 

“You’ve come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick?!” Heather Chandler crossed her arms, stepping back. Heather and Heather had gone on either side of her, like a rehearsed performance. In a way, it was. They’d done this enough times to others that they probably had a script and staging. “I’d normally slap your face off.” She added, gasping as though she came up with an idea. Heather gestured around to the cafeteria, where more and more people were noticing Veronica’s attackers. “And everyone here could watch! But I’m feeling nice so here’s so advice. Listen  _ up _ , bitch!” Except she said “bitch” nice and long, like “beeyach”. 

 

Veronica looked around desperately, for… what? Help? An escape route? A way to undo her previous decision? A hand clamped on her chin, turning her head back to face the three Heathers. Veronica’s eyes met the cold, snake-like ones of Heather Chandler. “See, I thought you could keep up with us. I thought that you were willing to play and have fun with us in our little games and jokes…” Her tone was level and terrifying as she let go of Veronica’s chin. “If you lack the balls to do something as little as this, then why are you even here?”

 

Heather Duke laughed coldly, leaning forwards so her head was beside Heather Chandler’s. “I mean honestly, you can’t be with us and just sit in the background. You have to actually  _ help _ and play along with us, or else you don’t get the guys and the invites…”

 

“Yeah, I mean, you don’t even really have to do anything else.” Heather McNamara added. “You already wrote the letter.”

  
“All you have to do,” Heather Chandler cut her off, smirking and holding her hand out for the paper clutched in Veronica’s fist. “Is say goodbye to shamu. Is that so hard?”

 

“In the end, she’s not really your friend.” Heather McNamara shrugged, her hands on her hips. “I mean, I can tell. If she had your shot?” She giggled, shaking her head. “She’d leave you to  _ rot _ . But I mean, if you don’t really care, you and Martha Dumptruck can go back and braid each others hair… Hey, maybe Sesame Street is on.” She laughed at herself, covering her mouth in a way that would have been cute if she hadn’t been talking about hurting Martha.

 

“Or you could forget that freak and come with us.” Heather Duke crossed her arms. “I mean, why would you choose  _ her _ over  _ us _ ?” 

 

They were speaking so fast that Veronica couldn’t even think. She opened her mouth to say something-  _ anything _ \- but Heather Chandler reached down, snatching the note from her hand before she could answer. 

 

The worst part? Veronica didn’t even try to resist or grab it back. 

 

Heather Chandler grinned, handing the note off to Heather Duke, whose smile turned poisonous as she turned around, walking over to where Martha was eating alone. Veronica watched as Heather dropped the note by her table and kept walking towards the hallway. Heather Chandler moved in Veronica’s line of vision, her arms crossed. “Honestly Veronica, if you want to roll with us, you have to prove that you’re not a pussy. Let this play out. It’ll be fun, I promise.” She patted Veronica’s cheek before sitting back down, Heather McNamara following. Heather Duke joined them a moment later, grinning. 

 

Veronica turned to face them, opening her mouth to… what? Object? Yell? She glanced back at Martha, who was unfolding the note, a look of confusion crossing over her face. A pang of guilt flashed through her chest and Veronica forced herself to look back at the table of Heather’s. Heather Chandler raised an eyebrow, almost sensing her guilt. “You have a shot, Veronica.” She said. “You can either live the dream?” She gestured around the table before her hand slammed onto the top with a loud  _ bang _ . “Or you can die alone.” 

 

“I mean, do you really want to end up like  _ her _ ?” Heather Duke asked, pointing behind Veronica before laughing. 

 

Veronica slowly turned around in time for Martha to grab her arm and pull her away from the table. Her friend had a wide smile on her face- a real, genuine smile that Veronica hadn’t seen in a long time. “Veronica, look!” Martha handed the forged note to Veronica. “Ram invited me to his homecoming party! See? I told you there was still something there! This proves he’s been thinking about me!” She sounded so excited… 

 

She could see the Heathers out of the corner of her eye. Heather Chandler crossed her arms, leaning forwards over the table. She raised an eyebrow, clearly asking the question  _ “Who is it going to be? Us? Or Martha Dumptruck?” _

 

Veronica met her friend’s gaze, guilt eating away at her stomach. She couldn’t mess this up, she had one chance to be popular and liked and… to do more than just survive, going through days being tormented and pushed around. Veronica could ride on top of the crowd rather than push through it. She _couldn't_ keep pushing through it. She took a deep breath before giving Martha a smile, the guilty feeling deepening. “Color me stoked.” She said, loud enough for the Heathers to hear. 

 

Martha laughed, grabbing the note back from Veronica and holding it to her chest. “I’m so happy!!” Her smile widened and she all but skipped back to her table. Veronica watched, wondering if maybe this could end well. Martha was happy after all. What good would it do for Veronica to tell her the truth? How crushed would she be? 

 

_ Yeah _ … Veronica nodded slightly, turning back to the table of Heathers.  _ Yeah, this can be okay _ . Heather Chandler leaned back, shrugging. “See? Wasn’t so bad, was it? Look at how happy she is.” She let out a loud laugh. The other two Heathers followed. 

 

“Yeah, it’ll give her shower nozzle masterbation material for weeks.” Heather Duke added. 

 

Heather Chandler’s head snapped around, her evil glare fixated on Heather Duke now. “Shut  _ up _ , Heather!”

 

Heather Duke nearly cowered, looking down immediately. “Sorry, Heather…” 

 

Sighing, Heather Chandler looked back up at Veronica. Her angry expression had melted away into an impassive one. “Congratulations, Veronica.” She raised an eyebrow. “You passed the test.” 

 

Veronica slowly sat down, wondering if it was good that she’d passed.  _ No. It was good. _ She told herself firmly as first lunch bell rang, signalling that there was 5 minutes until the end of the period. _Veronica_ _  was still with the Heathers and Martha was happy for the time being. As long as Veronica was with them, she could try to keep them from making fun of Martha. It’d be okay…  _

 

As quickly as Veronica had sat down, all three Heathers stood up. “Bathroom.” Heather Duke said sharply before following the other two towards the door. Veronica slowly got to her feet, sighing as she began to follow, feeling more and more like a dog with every passing moment. 

 

“You shouldn’t have bowed down to the Swatch-dogs and the Diet-Cokeheads.” A deep, almost melodic voice said, stopping Veronica in her tracks because somehow, she  _ knew _ that it was directed at her. “They’re going to crush that girl.”

 

Veronica looked down at the table she was passing. One person was sitting there, a boy with dark, shaggy hair and a large trench coat. He was reading a book, almost as if he hadn’t spoken at all. Veronica turned to face him, her arms crossing self-consciously. “I’m sorry, what?” 

 

He looked up at her and Veronica’s heart caught in her throat. Holy  _ shit _ … She had never seen him before- she definitely would have remembered it if she had. He was  _ gorgeous _ … The boy’s dark brown eyes met hers. “You’ve clearly got a soul. You just need to work harder keeping it clean. We are all born marked for evil.” He said calmly before standing up, giving her another glance before starting to walk away. 

 

“Okay, don’t quote Baudelaire at me and walk away, excuse me?” Veronica said quickly. The boy stopped, glancing back at her. His deep, mysterious eyes met hers and Veronica, for a moment, found herself at a loss for words. “I didn’t catch your name.” She said softly, smiling a little, unsure what to do or how to react to the sudden  _feeling_ in her chest. Despite the Heathers best efforts in teaching her, Veronica still felt like she couldn’t successfully flirt to save her life. 

 

The boy raised an eyebrow, his eyes scanning Veronica again before meeting her gaze. “I didn’t throw it.” He said calmly before turning, continuing to walk out of the cafeteria. 

 

Veronica’s mouth fell open.  _ Um… okay… _ She thought, her eyes watching as he slowly walked away, almost as if he was begging for her to stop him.  Suddenly, any thought of school or Martha or the Heathers was gone and all Veronica could think about was this  _ boy _ , who- despite the fact that she was with the Heathers- hadn’t told her his name and had walked away. No one had walked away willingly from her, not since that day three weeks ago when she came in dressed exactly the way she was now. He was different.

 

Veronica liked that different. 

 

And then, Kurt Kelly was grabbing the new boy’s shoulder, forcing him to a stop. “Hey, sweetheart. What did your boyfriend say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?” He asked slowly, tauntingly. 

 

Ram stepped in front of him, his face inches from the boy’s. “My buddy Kurt just asked you a question.” He demanded, even though they hadn’t given him enough time to respond in the first place. 

 

Veronica crossed her arms, holding her breath. They were going to beat up and torment this new kid the way that did to everyone else and she felt an overwhelming urge to make them stop… She looked at the doorway and her eyes met the cold ones of Heather Chandler.  _ Really? _ They seemed to say.  _ After what you just pulled? You’d be asking for it, Veronica. _ So Veronica stayed silent, watching from the sidelines. 

 

“Hey Ram,” Kurt was saying, “doesn’t this cafeteria have a ‘not fags allowed’ rule?” 

 

Ram laughed, going to respond when the boy cut him off, slamming his book shut as he turned to look at both of them. “They seem to have an open-door policy for assholes though.” Veronica’s mouth dropped and her hand clamped over her mouth. This boy must have had a death wish or something, because no one in their right mind would say something like that to Kurt and Ram. 

 

But he had also walked away from Veronica. He was different. Veronica’s heart leapt as she realized that this boy’s “different” that she found herself liking more and more was going to get him hurt.

 

Kurt’s face had contorted with anger. “Hold his arms!” He shouted, pushing the boy back towards Ram. Veronica’s hands flew over her eyes and she watched through her fingers.  _ Fuck _ . She didn’t want to watch- but she couldn’t look away. Ram’s hands grabbed both of the boy’s arms and Kurt went to punch him when suddenly, the boy had blocked Kurt’s punch, smacking him in the face with his book. He turned to face Kurt, who also got smacked in the face with the boy’s book. Both jocks went flying back, leaving the boy in the trenchcoat standing between them, looking…  _ amused _ . 

 

Veronica’s eyes widened.  _ What the fuck- _

 

“Holy  _ shit _ !” Someone shouted as Kurt got to his feet, stepping forwards to punch the kid, but then the boy’s foot swung up between Kurt’s legs, hitting him in a not-so-nice spot and making him collapse to the ground. Ram tried to help his friend, but the kid’s fist swung, connecting with Ram’s douchebaggy face. 

 

Veronica wanted to look away- watching a fight wasn’t who she was- but… She couldn’t look away, she couldn’t tear her eyes off of the sexy new kid who was taking on two of the stupidest but strongest boys in the school with nothing more than a book. It was… 

 

Different.

 

Veronica smiled a little bit, wondering where the hell this kid had come from and where he’d learned to fight like that… and, as an afterthought, if he’d even consider fighting for her. If she had him on her side… Veronica might not even need to be in with the Heathers in order to be protected, if this was a show of strength. He was tall, strong, mysterious, sexy… He could fight for her, she could fight for him… They could make a great team. 

 

_ That’s ridiculous _ . Veronica tried to think rationally.  _ You don’t even know his name _ …  _ but damn, he punches hard _ . His fist hit Ram’s again, sending the jock flying backwards towards the crowd. Veronica bit her lip, smiling despite the violence happening in front of her. 

 

Maybe she was crazy. Maybe it was insane to even think like that. Maybe it was too different. 

 

But Veronica wanted different. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be updated once or twice a month... Sorry about the not-so-frequent updates- but I will update it eventually! If it seems like I've gone too long, just comment and remind me and I'll try to get right on it. 
> 
> Anyways, Veronica is really hard to write from? Because like, she obviously cares about Martha and other people, but like she always cares more about herself because of what she does? It's so hard to try to explain, but I hope that I can write her okay? I'm trying lol
> 
> It was also SO hard to write the fight without naming J.D... goddamn mysterious boy not telling Veronica his name
> 
> ALSO I'm using the official published script as my guideline for wording and lines, so if it's different than the bootleg, that's why


	3. The Boy By The Slurpee Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her eyes met the gorgeous dark-brown eyes she’d meet earlier this week. Her heart dropped slightly and she stood up taller, taking in the mysterious, dark figure in front of her. He was grinning, looking smug and… hot. “Greetings and salutations. You want a Slurpee with that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has NOT been proof read so I'm very sorry for any and all mistakes you find!!!
> 
> Thank you for reading anyways!

“God Veronica, drool much?” Heather Chandler scoffed. Veronica looked up from where she was lining up her croquet mallet with her blue ball. All three Heathers were staring at her, smirking like they knew something she didn’t- which, of course, they probably did. “You were totally throwing your panties at that new kid.” Heather Chandler added, followed by giggling from the other two. “And by the look of your house, you can’t afford replacement panties.” More laughter.

 

Veronica glanced self-conscious back at her house. She had invited the Heathers over- or rather, they had invited themselves over. She knew that her family wasn’t rich, like Heather Mac’s, but… Still, it wasn’t like they were living in a dumpster or anything.

 

But this was how the Heathers talked to each other. It wasn’t friendship when Veronica thought about it- it really was like a business-ship. “Come on…” Veronica said, shrugging as if Heather’s comments meant nothing. “I don’t even know his name…”

 

Heather Chandler didn’t seem to like that- why, Veronica didn’t know because Heather Chandler was almost impossible to figure out- and went to hit her own red ball. It smacked into Veronica’s, sending it flying towards her parents. “Oops.” It was so fake it almost hurt.

 

“Mom, Dad- look out!” Veronica called as it rolled to a stop right in front of her mom. Her mom smiled at the four of them, leaning down to pick up the ball. Her parents, as much as she loved them, were not the type of people the three Heather’s would love. Her mom was always optimistic and… not the best cook. Her dad, well, was kind of an idiot- always reading novels or watching TV. He was really oblivious to most things.

 

Heather Chandler gave Veronica a glare before marching over to get her ball from Veronica’s mom. “Here you go, girls.” Her mother smiled, holding out the blue ball and a tray with crackers and cheese and mom-snacky stuff on it. “Care for some pâté?”

 

Veronica cringed as Heather Chandler spoke with such venom it was a surprise no one fell over dead. “This isn't pâté. It’s liverwurst.”

 

Her mother smiled politely at the girl dressed in red. “I’m aware of that, Heather. It’s a family joke.”

 

Heather Chandler glanced back at Veronica and the two other Heather’s, looking… annoyed, almost. Which was ridiculous, Veronica thought. Her mom was just making a joke- not a very funny one, but a joke they’d been doing ever since Veronica was little. “Oh. Funny.” Heather said without looking back at Veronica’s mother.

 

Veronica’s father spoke out loud, hitting his paperback with his other hand. “Dammit, will somebody please tell me why I read these spy novels?!”

 

There was so much judgement in Heather Chandler’s glare that it took all of Veronica’s control not to cower or scream or… react. “It’s because you’re an idiot, dad…” Veronica managed to say calmly.

 

Her father looked up for the first time, his eyes locking on Veronica for a moment. He grinned. “Oh yeah, that’s it.” He looked back down at the paperback.

 

An awkward, tense silence for a moment before Veronica’s mother spoke again, “So girls. Any plans for tonight?”

 

Veronica spoke quickly, before anyone else could. “Oh- big homecoming party at Ram Sweeney’s house. I’m catching a ride with Heather.”

 

Heather Chandler tapped her swatch, tilting her head slightly. “Speaking of which…”

 

“Right.” Veronica felt like a dog, running around and obeying Heather’s every need. But it was worth it, she reminded herself again and again. It may not seem like it sometimes, but it was in the end. She would not go back to being her old self- left to die out in the open with all the others. She had to survive this year- just 159 days left- and then she would be free to be herself, protected by the brick walls and iron gates of college. “Great pâté, Mom, but we have to motor if we want to be ready for that party.” Veronica finished, her eyes meeting her mothers.

 

The ball in Heather’s hands somehow managed to roll onto the plate of pâté. Mock sympathy instantly covered Heather’s face and she gave a fake-smile. “Oops.” She turned on her heel and walked away, hips swinging like always. The other two Heathers turned and followed her, because that was- essentially- their job. They all were basically servants to Heather. That’s all anyone at Westerburg was. Now, at least, Veronica got benefits of serving her.

 

But Veronica _hated_ that Heather would treat her mom like that. She figured families would be off-limits, but, apparently not.

 

Veronica’s mom took her arm, drawing Veronica’s attention away from the retreating red, yellow, and green blazers. “Don’t let these popular girls change you.”

 

Maybe it was because of the time she’d been spending trying to prove herself to the three Queen Bitches, but she felt a sudden urge to prove herself to her mother. Or, really, to explain herself. “I need them.” It wasn’t the explanation she’d been hoping for, but it would do. She really did have to leave. Heather would leave without her, without a doubt. And Veronica had to go to this party.

 

“For what?” Her mom didn’t understand. “You have other friends. You have Martha.”

 

“Maybe I want more out of life than liverwurst.” The words were out of Veronica’s mouth before she could think. She turned and walked away, guilt suddenly aching in her stomach. She’d been spending too much time with the Heathers and she knew it. This wasn’t her- sure, she could be a bitch sometimes, but… not like this. Not to Martha.

 

But, Veronica chided herself again, she had a role to play. She was a Heather now. A fourth Queen Bitch. And maybe she could make them less-bitchy, or at least try to tone them down a little.

 

************************

 

Veronica shut the door to the car, the $20 bill clenched tightly in her hand. She started towards the entrance to the 7/11 when the car window rolled down and Heather stuck her head out. “Veronica! Don’t forget to buy Corn Nuts! It’s not a party without Corn Nuts!”

 

Veronica nodded, turning to face her for a moment. “Plain or BQ?” She called back.

 

Heather’s face twisted into one of annoyance, as if the answer was obvious. “BQ!!”

 

 _Okay_ … Veronica was personally just glad to have a moment away from… that. It was exhausting, being with the Heathers all the time and being forced to act like them. They were exhausting people to be around- with all of their critics, their gossip, their rumours, their ‘funny practical jokes’... Veronica had been sleeping more than she had in her entire life recently.

 

She stepped inside the cool 7/11, her eyes scanning the counter for Corn Nuts- BQ, because God forbid she got plain ones. Veronica rubbed her eyes as she walked down an isle, picking up a bag of BQ Corn Nuts. She didn’t know if she had to get anything else- like beer? She wouldn’t be allowed to buy beer, even with her new clothes and makeup. She didn’t look old enough and if they carded her, she’d be busted. She assumed Ram would have some.

 

Who was she kidding, she _knew_ Ram had some. And harder stuff too. This was Ram Sweeney, after all.

 

She heard footsteps approach her and her eyes lifted from the package of Corn Nuts she’d been staring at. Her eyes met the gorgeous dark-brown eyes she’d meet earlier this week. Her heart dropped slightly and she stood up taller, taking in the mysterious, dark figure in front of her. He was grinning, looking smug and… _hot_. “Greetings and salutations. You want a Slurpee with that?” He gestured to the bag in her hand with the Slurpee in his.

 

Veronica instantly smiled, biting her lip as her eyes surveyed him again and again, as if searching for every little detail she might have possibly missed. “No, but if you’re nice I’ll let you buy me a Big Gulp.”

 

The boy raised his eyebrows, looking unamused- which was an expression Veronica had been getting a lot lately. But it was different when it came from him- more sexy and less ferocious beast. “That’s like going to Mickey D’s to order a salad. Slurpees the signature dish of the house. Did you say cherry or lime?” He added, gesturing behind him as he started to walk towards the Slurpee machine.

 

“I said Big Gulp.” Veronica said quickly, trying to suppress her growing smile. “I’m Veronica Sawyer, by the way.” She added. He stopped in front of the machine. “Are you ever going to tell me your name?”

 

The boy paused before sighing, turning to face her again. “I’ll end the suspense. Jason Dean. J.D. for short.”

 

 _J.D…_ Somehow, the name made perfect sense. _Jason Dean- J.D. for short._ Veronica liked it. She liked the way he said it too, the way it just… made sense and rolled off of his tongue. Veronica crossed one foot in front of the other, smiling as she fiddled with the bag of Corn Nuts- although every thought of the demon who had requested them was gone. All that mattered was Jason Dean- J.D. for short. “So… ‘J.D.’...” She emphasized his name, just to see how it felt in her mouth. “That thing you pulled in the caf was pretty severe.”

 

He shrugged, turning back to the machine and pressing a few buttons. “The extreme always seems to make an impression.” J.D. remarked, grabbing a cup from beside the Slurpee machine.

 

“What brings a Baudelaire-quoting badass like you to Sherwood, Ohio?” Veronica asked, walking up and standing next to him. He was tall, she thought again. The trench coat made him seem taller than he probably was, but Veronica didn’t care.

 

J.D.’s expression turned blank for a moment before he answered her. “My dad’s work. He owns a de-construction company.”

 

Veronica blinked. “‘De-construction’?”

 

The gorgeous boy looked down at her, smiling without much emotion. “The old man seems to enjoy tearing things down. Seen the commercial?” He started to imitate it, making his voice deeper and gruffer. “‘I’m Big Bud Dean. If it’s in the way, I’ll make your day…’.”

 

“Right, then he pushes the plunger and the screen blows up.” Veronica had to suppress a laugh. Every time the commercial comes on, she laughs. It’s just so… ridiculous. “That’s your dad?”

 

J.D.’s emotionless smile grew and he shrugged, turning back to the Slurpee machine as he continued to get the next Slurpee. “In all his toxic glory.”

 

 _This is not how to get him to like you_ , Veronica thought. _This is not how to be a nice person in general_. If there was one thing the Heathers had taught her, it was how to be flirty. She’d thought she’d been doing it right, but so far all she’d done was make Jason Dean- J.D. for short- upset. “Well, everyone’s life has got static.”

 

There was a loud beep from outside. Even before the scream of, “ _VERONICA_!!!!!”, she knew it was from Heather.

 

Veronica sighed, the Corn Nuts bag suddenly feeling heavier in her hands as she remembered- yes, she had an insane blonde in the car who wanted her BQ Corn Nuts. “Example… I don’t really like my friends.” She admitted.

 

J.D.’s smile had a little emotion in it now- humor. “I don’t like your friends either.” He leaned back against the counter, a new Slurpee in his hands. “Bag the party.” He offered, gesturing around the 7/11. “Hang here.”

 

Veronica smirked, raising an eyebrow. “At the 7/11? Swanky first date…” Was this even officially a date? It didn’t matter- Heather Duke told her every one-on-one with a guy was a date, even if the guy wasn’t aware of it. She hadn’t really thought much of it until now.

 

“Hey, I love this place.” J.D. answered, looking around the linoleum aisles full of junk, the cashier with the sad-looking teenager who probably went to Veronica’s school, the Slurpee machine buzzing behind them.

 

She didn’t really understand. “No offense, but… why?”

 

His eyes got this… hard, yet far-away look in them as he kept looking out at the store. “The only thing that’s stayed the same in the past 10 high schools has been that there’s a 7/11 close by. It’s been the only consistent thing, and they’re all exactly the same- from Las Vegas to Boston. When you don’t have much, you take what you can get…” He took a slurp of his Slurpee. He grimaced for a moment, lines drawing on his forehead before disappearing when his expression cleared. “Brain freeze.”

 

Veronica smiled a little. It was sad- that he’d been through so many high schools-, but… also kind of cute, that he loved this place so much. “Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?” She asked, poking at the Slurpee in his hand.

 

J.D. scoffed, shaking his head. “Nope. She died.” _Well shit_. “Now that it’s just me and dad? Well, I’ve learned how to take care of myself. I learned that the world doesn’t give a shit about you.” His dangerous, brown eyes locked on her. “You’d better start to build up some walls too, because no matter what, the sky falls and it hurts like hell when it does. You never expect it, until he comes home again and says that you’re leaving and it’s only been 6 weeks or something up here,” he gestured to his head with the Slurpee, “tells you it’d just be easier to end it all and nose dive off a bridge and the only comfort that you can find?” J.D. held out his Slurpee. “Is this. Try it.”

 

Veronica’s heart was pounding. She had known of Jason Dean for approximately 2 days and had 2 conversations with him, each only about 5-10 minutes long as most. And here he was, opening up to her. There was something terrifying in that- and something that made him even more endearing. He trusted her. After only 2 days, he trusted her.

 

She grabbed the Slurpee and took a long sip of it. It tasted of cold, cherry-flavored ice, but… nothing magical happened. “I don’t see what the big deal- _Ah_ !” Suddenly, a dull pain flared up in between her eyes- brain freeze, just like he’d said. “Son of a _bitch_!” She laughed a little, looking up at him. His smile had turned real, almost reaching his eyes. They really were beautiful eyes…

 

“ _Veronica_!” She spun, looking over at the doorway and seeing Heather Chandler standing there, hands on her hips as she glared out at the two of them.

 

Veronica forced the cherry Slurpee back into Jason Dean’s hands. “I gotta go.”

 

He nodded slightly. “So I see.”

 

Heather Chandler waved at her, so she hurried away from the mysterious J.D. and met up with the not-so-mysterious blonde bitch. “Corn Nuts?” She asked.

 

“Yes, Heather.” Veronica felt like a servant.

 

Heather smiled coldly, gesturing behind her at the boy by the Slurpee machine. “Wave bye-bye to Red Dawn here and let’s motor.” She spun on her heel and marched out. Veronica went to follow her, but she paused, looking back at where J.D. stood. He was watching her, sipping his cherry slushie. She smiled a little bit. He gave her a half-hearted wave before turning away.

 

Veronica went to join Heather in the car.

 

************************

 

_Freeze your brain,_

_Suck on that straw,_

_Get lost in the pain._

_Happiness comes when everything numbs,_

_Who needs cocaine?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woW I'm back (sort of, hopefully). Sorry that took literally 6 months (I have no excuse, just sorry)
> 
> Veronica might seem a little weird in this chapter, mostly because she's so FUCKING hard to write from and I'm trying to get back into it, but... yeah
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading after literally 6 m o n t h s. I hope you enjoy it. Any and all comments are loved and accepted for who they are.
> 
> Also if it's late go to bed, you deserve some sleep!

**Author's Note:**

> So yes, this is basically the Heathers musical from Veronica's point of view. She's a very complex character, so I thought this could be fun to try!
> 
> (no i'm not salty that we're not doing heathers for my school musical)  
> (that's definitely not at least 50% of the reason that i'm writing this)
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading!!! I'm actually really excited about writing this and I hope that you like it! Please leave any feedback you have!!


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